Dead Inside Part One: Tradegy by: Shell Presto Rated: PG13 to R, I haven't decided yet. This story contains a little violence, bit of cursing, and, well, it's just kinda... deep? I don't know how to put it. Not really any adult situations, either. Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or any affiliated characters. Takeuchi Naoko and various companies do. I'm just borrowing the characters to keep the tale going. However, I put a heckuva lot of work into all of this writing. It's my story, so please don't copy it. If you wanna post it, email me and I'll most likely say yes. Note: This story requires you to have some knowledge about the end of the Sailor Moon R movie, however, if you know nothing, I'm sure you'll catch on. I don't own Sailor Moon or any affiliated characters. I'm just borrowing them to keep the moonlight legend alive. Sailor Moon breathed a heavy sigh of relief, as I had stopped the chaos that was Fiore. At least, she thought I had stopped him. Instead the blue haired, pale skinned alien, who looked remarkably human, laughs viciously, "You all want to make me alone, but that's alright. Though if I can't have Mamoru-kun, no one can! I may die, but when this asteroid crashes, I'll take all of you with me!" "Fiore, stop it!" I yell. Fiore was my only childhood friend, an illusion, I thought, as Fiore had left after only a few days. At the time I thought it was all a dream, that I had been so lonely my mind made a friend to comfort me. Part of me was thrilled when I found that Fiore was real. I had longed to have my dearest friend back, the one who understood my loneliness when I needed understanding the most. The one I comforted and who cuddled up with me when I was cold. Fiore was probably my best friend. That is, until he decided he wanted me as his exclusive friend, making Usagi, the love of my life, his enemy. I blame myself. When he and I were both children, we were both alone. It was because I was alone that I made him believe what I did. He adopted my standard, that the world left me alone and I hated it. All we had was each other, and I liked it, even wanted it, that way, at the time. Fiore still wants it that way, though, and where I have found love and acceptance in Usagi, Fiore only has me. Sailor Moon stands up, focusing her attention to the pink brooch clasped over the bow on her fuku. It opens, exposing the silver crystal within, the crystal that is one of the strongest forces in the universe. "It's alright," she assurs her friends, and me. "We won't die. I won't lose any of you." "NO!" cries Mars at the top of her lungs. She's not one to show her true feelings, but... Jupiter chimes in, despair in her voice, "If you use the crystal, you'll die!!" It's true, the full power of the crystal comes from the life force of the one yielding it. To use its great power means death, no matter what the reason. For better or worse, it is something the blonde rabbit is willing to do for those she loves. "You can't!" Venus yells, tears coming to her eyes. Mercury doesn't know what to say, she hopes her voice will carry the emotion for her. "Usagi-chan!" "Don't do it!!" I nearly scream over the wind that blows over the cold asteroid. I feel helpless. That's when I see Fiore. I stand as well. Fiore has no such intentions as he approachs Sailor Moon. "You're going to use this stone to save them? I won't let you!" It all happens in an instant. Fiore's hand darts to grab the crystal, which, pumped with Usagi's life force, would have the effect of tearing her heart from her breast. I run, faster than lightning, not altogether myself. My mind in a frenzy over the safety of my love, I react without thought, only raw emotion. When I come to my senses it is too late. Fiore's blood trickles down the thin edge of my blade, his head severed from his body. I, as Prince Endymion, gaze at the gruesome sight I have created in shock. I don't know what to do, what to say. What I have done is wrong, horrible, but could I really let my love be killed? Light flashes, and Princess Serenity gently wraps her arms about my forearm. Startled, I drop my sword. The wind picks up, and the air is slowly thinning. I stare at my love in curiousity, wondering what she thinks of me at the moment. It doesn't matter, though. There are other things to worry about. Now yelling over the strong gusts, Serenity assures us, "Don't worry. I won't die." She smiles, "We'll all go home together." A formation begins as the asteroid, on a headlong crash course with Earth, starts to break apart. Only the force of the crystal keeps the chunks of rock from crashing into these six forms desperate to survive. Like geese flying south for salvation from the cold, the Senshi line up in a V behind their leader and I, loaning all the strength they can muster to their future queen. That is, if she has a future. I place a firm hand on her shoulder, my other near the crystal, pooling my energy within it, along with that of my love's. I can feel its power pulsing up through my body. She gives me a look of confusion, as if she doesn't know how I can help. I smile gently at her, and she knows. I can will my life force into the crystal as she can, through our love for each other. She smiles back, saying, "I won't leave anyone alone." It happens in a blur, we all gather our energy into the crystal. The speed at which the meteor falls increases as we falter. We try harder. Serenity begins to sweat bullets, and I watch her face twist in agony. In that one instant, she pushes everything she has into that crystal, screaming, "I WON'T LET ANYONE BE ALONE ANYMORE!!!" I don't actually see what happens to the crystal, but I feel it. The light in my beatuiful princess's eyes flashes out of existance, so fast that I can't see it happening. She falls backwards into my arms, becoming Sailor Moon once again before I lower her to the ground, which is covered in tiny, glittering, slivers of crystal. The crystal has shattered, my lover's eyes are closed. Someone starts shaking her fiercely, yelling something. I can't make anything out, I can only stare at Usako's face, still, pale. I stare for an eternity. The meteor has stopped, the Earth is safe, but I don't care. All I can do is stare wide eyed at this unmoving form that my arms grip so tightly. Soon everything is quiet, save tiny sobs escaping from each of the Senshi. Are they crying? Why are they crying? I can't think straight.... My eyes won't pull away from her. Why isn't she moving? She's not moving... They're crying... The crystal... She can't be.... She can't be...... "Usako?" I call to her, nudging her gently. Suddenly, I feel all the Senshi glaring at me, though I really don't give a damn. "Usako?" Why am I getting so hot? Why won't she... "Wake up. Usako, wake up." She's not... "Usako! Wake up!" Now I am the one shaking her. I have never shook her before, not at all with such intensity. "Wake up!! Usako!!" My voice cracks as it gets louder. This can't be happening! I can't feel her! "USAKO!! WAKE UP!!!" It doesn't even occur to me that I could be hurting her, were she... "YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T DIE!!!!!" I scream. I begin to shiver, though I'm hot. Tears burn down my cheeks as I hold her. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Something inside me bursts and I feel wave after wave of energy leave my body and go through hers. I don't know what it is, but it's trying to bring her back. I force it into her. My eyes close so tight I think they'll collapse and my body tenses like a violin string. "WAKE UP!!!" She doesn't listen. "WAKE UP!!!" No response. It's not working, I can't FEEL her. "YOU SAID YOU WERE MY FAMILY! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" That's the true me speaking, the lonely, naked, me speaking, a side I've only ever shared with her. I believed she'd be around forever, or at least until I die. She PROMISED she would never leave me, and I can't feel her anymore. She's dead. I collapse onto her, hurting and barely conscious. Somehow I manage to hold tight to her body though. The next thing I notice is a flash of light, and I, and my love's corpse, are surrounded by the Senshi in my apartment. I look at each of them with pleading eyes. They all have powers, I don't have any. Silently, I beg them to bring her back to me. The only answer I get is the sound of my apartment door shutting behind them as they leave. Pain tears through me, yet I can't do anything. I can't heal her. I can't bring her back.... I carry her lifeless form to my bedroom, placing her softly on the bed. Then I lay over her and hold her and cry. The tears don't stop. Like the pain, they keep doubling over and over, building faster and faster. I find myself screaming into her hair, begging her to come back to me. I want her to hold me again. It's my fault. I should have known it wouldn't work out. It's somehow my fate to not have a family. Ever since the car crash... I killed Usako by loving her. The more I tried to protect her.... Everything I try to hold onto slips through my fingers like quicksilver. I can't have a family. I'm not allowed. I did something awful and I'm not allowed any loved ones. DAMN IT I WAS WARNED!!!! I WAS FUCKING PLAGUED FOR WEEKS BY DREAMS THAT SAID I COULDN'T BE WITH HER!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN!!!! SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE I LOVE HER!!! "IT'S MY FAULT!!!! I'M SORRY!!! I DIDN'T DESERVE YOU AND THEY TOOK YOU AWAY!!!!" I don't know who "they" are, but they hate me. They stole my parents, my love, and my life. It's my fault. To be continued... Can you really like a story like this? Okay, I won't ask if u like it, I'll ask if you think it is a well written story to the point that you find it intruiging and would want to read more (or something like that). All commentary is welcome to mangetsu@email.com to which I usually promptly reply. Hope you come back to read the next part: Loss. -Shell Presto 11:58 PM 11/1/99